Submissions sought. Get fresh eyes on your opening page. Submission directions below.
The Flogometer challenge: can you craft a first page that compels me to turn to the next page? Caveat: Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective.
Note: all the Flogometer posts are here.
What's a first page in publishingland? In a properly formatted novel manuscript (double-spaced, 1-inch margins, 12-point type, etc.) there should be about 16 or 17 lines on the first page. Directions for submissions are below—they include a request to post the rest of the chapter, but that’s optional.
Before you rip into today’s submission, consider this checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.
Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”
A First-page Checklist (PDF here)
- It begins to engage the reader with the character
- Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
- The character desires something.
- The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
- There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
- It happens in the NOW of the story.
- Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- The one thing it must do: raise a story question.
A reminder of what you’re after here. This blog is about crafting compelling openings. Not interesting, compelling. Why does it have to meet that hurdle? First, if your work is going to an agent, you’re competing with hundreds of submissions. You have to cut through that clutter and competition with powerful storytelling and strong writing. If it’s a reader browsing in a bookstore or online, the same goes—there are scores of published books competing with yours. Yeah, you need compelling.
Max has sent a first page, no title. Remember to focus on writing craft regardless of genre. This might not be a genre for you, but you can surely judge the strengths of the opening page.
The lonesome beam of Theo’s ’91 Honda Accord was a lost spotlight in the vast theater of the night, struggling against the thick blanket of darkness swaddling the twisted dirt road. Theo's irregular pulse thrummed against the vibrations the car's grumbling engine, a frantic rhythm that matched the wild race against time.
Luke, a ghostly presence in the backseat, haunted Theo in the rearview mirror. The pallor of his skin, unnaturally bright against the blood gathering beneath him, brought an icy grip to Theo's heart.
The wheel was slick with sweat under Theo's clenched hands. Every detail of the car seemed louder, more vivid than ever, the grime on the dashboard, the worn-out scent of the upholstery, the rusty groan of the shocks. Yet, one scent hung heavy in the air, a scent he refused to place a name to.
Ashgrove, their hopeful beacon, hid behind an intimidating maze of trees and unpredictable dirt roads. Theo coaxed the pedal closer to the metal, hoping the faithful car could cut through the distance, could win Luke more time.
"Luke, stay with me," Theo said, begging against the backdrop of the straining engine and the scrabbling of tires on loose gravel. Luke, nearly dead in the backseat remained silent, offering nothing but ragged, tortured breaths.
Max says this is his fourth shot at an opening page for this story, and he made it this time. The character is sympathetic, he’s got trouble and more is on the way. I wanted to know what happens next.
A couple of editorial notes: for me, the grumble of an engine didn’t seem like it could be frantic—the imagery didn’t work for me. Or did you mean his pulse? Unclear. I would reconsider opening with “the vast theater of the night“ as it seems too literary for an action sequence. Just a thought or two.
Submitting to the Flogometer:
Email the following in an attachment (.doc, .docx, or .rtf preferred, no PDFs):
- your title
- your complete 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter
- Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ. Note: I’m adding a copyright notice for the writer at the end of the post. I’ll use just the first name unless I’m told I can use the full name.
- Also, please tell me if it’s okay to post the rest of the chapter so people can turn the page.
- And, optionally, include your permission to use it as an example in a book on writing craft if that's okay.
- If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
- If you rewrite while you wait for your turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.
Were I you, I'd examine my first page in the light of the first-page checklist before submitting to the Flogometer.
Flogging the Quill © 2025 Ray Rhamey, excerpt © 2025 by Max.