In addition to flogging submissions by writer readers and free BookBub books, I’m flogging books that cost 99¢, although interesting free BookBub books still get a look. The challenge is not that you would pay 99¢ on the basis of a single page, but if you would go to Amazon in order to turn the page a read more with the idea in mind that you might buy it.
Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.
Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.
When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.
Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”
A First-page Checklist
- It begins to engage the reader with the character
- Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
- The character desires something.
- The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
- There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
- It happens in the NOW of the story.
- Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- The one thing it must do: raise a story question.
Here is the first page of The Lost Wife. A poll follows the opening page below. If you don’t want to turn the page, then I’m thinking that these authors should have hired an editor.
The roads are darker than I thought they’d be. I’m used to the city, to the lit A-roads and motorways, the lights from late-night takeaways and cocktail bars. I’ve never had to drive that much before now.
I’m gripping the steering wheel down a small country lane, my knuckles white, a soft sheen washing over them. I risk glancing down and see small flecks of crimson on the backs of my hands, flashing in and out as lone cars pass me. I want to cry, for my tears to fall and wash the blood away, but I haven’t cried in years, why start now? My forearm throbs and feels damp and hot. The fuel light comes on, a low red light suddenly threatening me from behind the steering wheel. Only fifty miles left in the tank.
There’s a murmuring in the back of the car, an almost inaudible snore, but I can feel the warmth of his small body. I catch the small tuft of dark brown hair in the rear-view mirror as we drive through the night.
I can’t see the moon and I feel disappointed, like it has somehow failed in guiding me to safety. There is nowhere safe for us to go, not now. Checking the dashboard, it’s nearly midnight. That wouldn’t be late in Bristol, but here the remote houses are tucked away behind small verges, fast asleep.
My street would be teeming with students, heading to and from parties and sticky (snip)
You can read more here. This earned 4.0 stars on Amazon. The writing and voice are good, so no issues there. There are hints of recent mayhem—flecks of crimson, which have to be blood, and an injured arm. The woman (I assume) has a child in the backseat. So she’s on the run from violence. There were enough story questions for me to turn the page. Your thoughts?
Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling
Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy
Science Fiction Gundown More than 600 free ebooks given away.