In addition to flogging submissions by writer readers, I’m flogging books that cost 99¢, although interesting free books may still get a look. The challenge is not that you would pay 99¢ on the basis of a single page, but if you would go to Amazon in order to turn the page a read more with the idea in mind that you might buy it.
Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.
Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.
When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.
Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”
A First-page Checklist
- It begins to engage the reader with the character
- Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
- The character desires something.
- The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
- There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
- It happens in the NOW of the story.
- Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- The one thing it must do: raise a story question.
Here is the opening of Caper. A poll follows the opening page below. If you don’t want to turn the page, then I’m thinking that these authors should have hired an editor.
This may not be your cup of genre, so just judge it on the storytelling and writing.
I was in bed with J. Mark Hamilton, my brother-in-law. We had spent the night together because my sister, Laura, was in Park Central, recovering from plastic surgery. She’d had her tits elevated.
So there we were in the morning, J. Mark and me, his unshaved jowls scraping at me. “Bon appetit,” I murmured, and then the phone rang.
It was Sol Faber, my literary agent.
“Morning, doll,” he said brightly. “We got a meet with the man at tennish.
Remember?”That’s the way Sol talks.
“I remember,” I said. As a matter of fact, I had forgotten. I have that frailty: I lose the remembrance of unpleasant coming events.
Sol told me to meet him in the lobby of Binder Publications a few minutes before ten. Then we hung up. My brother-in-law raised his bald head to stare at me.
“Who was that?” he demanded.
“Your wife,” I said. “She asked me to remind you to pick up the drycleaning.”
His face went white before he realized I was ribbing him. J. Mark is not the fastest wit in the world. He does, though, possess certain skills, even if I don’t allow him between my sheets solely because of them. It’s a form of hostility directed against my sister. Laura is the pretty, (snip)
You can read more here. This earned 4.1 stars on Amazon. While this character doesn’t appear to have a problem to deal with, the narrative shows strong writing, a quirky and fun voice, and a bold, unique character. Voice and character can work in lieu of a strong story question to generate a page turn. For me, this one passed the hurdle. Your thoughts?
Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling
Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy
Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.