In addition to flogging submissions by writer readers, I’m flogging books that cost 99¢, although interesting free books may still get a look. The challenge is not that you would pay 99¢ on the basis of a single page, but if you would go to Amazon in order to turn the page a read more with the idea in mind that you might buy it.
Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.
Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.
When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.
Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”
A First-page Checklist
- It begins to engage the reader with the character
- Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
- The character desires something.
- The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
- There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
- It happens in the NOW of the story.
- Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
- The one thing it must do: raise a story question.
Here the opening page (prologue) for The Perfect House, a psychological thriller. A poll follows the opening page below. If you don’t want to turn the page, then I’m thinking that this author should have hired an editor.
A strip of light wakes her. The banister creaks. She knows what this means: he is back. Holding the tiny bundle close to her chest, she pulls the blanket over her head. Perhaps this time the cocoon of wool will fool him into believing the room is empty.
It never does.
The bolts are drawn and there is breathing, laboured from the climb. Smells of alcohol and damp earth.
Peering through the weave in the blanket, she sees him silhouetted in the doorway. His disgust crawls across her, but she won’t be ashamed. She won’t.
‘Be a good girl, Mary,’ her father says.
You can read more here. This earned 5 stars on Amazon. Well, just like this prologue, this won’t take long. Prologues are usually wasted on me, but this one is a gripper. In a few brief lines the setting was clear, the character sympathetic, and trouble ahead to raise story questions. Who could ask for more? Your thoughts?
Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling
Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy
Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.