I recently did a critique for a good writer and in our correspondence she mentioned that she had been studying the first few sentences from a number of Stephen King novels to see how he did it, and then she emulated what she’d seen. The result was an opening that I immediately nixed--luckily, everything after that was quite good.
Therein lies the danger of looking to bestsellers for examples of how to write a strong narrative, and Stephen King provides an excellent example.
If you follow my Flog a Pro series on Writer Unboxed, last October I flogged the opening page from Sleeping Beauties, a bestselling novel written by Stephen King and his son, Owen. Here’s the opening page:
Ree asked Jeanette if she ever watched the square of light from the window. Jeanette said she didn’t. Ree was in the top bunk, Jeanette in the bottom. They were both waiting for the cells to unlock for breakfast. It was another morning.
It seemed that Jeanette’s cellmate had made a study of the square. Ree explained that the square started on the wall opposite the window, slid down, down, down, then slopped over the surface of their desk, and finally made it out onto the floor. As Jeanette could now see, it was right there in the middle of the floor, bright as anything.
“Ree,” Jeanette said. “I just can’t be bothered with a square of light.”
“I say you can’t not be bothered by a square of light!” Ree made the honking noise that was how she expressed amusement.
Jeanette said, “Okay. Whatever the fuck that means,” and her cellmate just honked some more.
Ree was okay, but she was like a toddler, how silence made her anxious. Ree was in for credit fraud, forgery, and drug possession with intent to sell. She hadn’t been much good at any of them, which had brought her here.
Jeanette was in for manslaughter; on a winter night in 2005 she had stabbed her husband, Damian, in the groin with a clutchhead screwdriver and because he was high he’d just sat in an (snip)
And here are the poll results by readers of Writer Unboxed.
The following month, I followed up with the opening page of King’s first bestselling novel, Carrie.
RAIN OF STONES REPORTED
It was reliably reported by several persons that a rain of stones fell from a clear blue sky on Carlin Street in the town of Chamberlain on August 17th. The stones fell principally on the home of Mrs. Margaret White, damaging the roof extensively and ruining two gutters and a downspout valued at approximately $25. Mrs. White, a widow, lives with her three-year-old daughter, Carietta.
Mrs. White could not be reached for comment.
Nobody was really surprised when it happened, not really, not at the subconscious level where savage things grow. On the surface, all the girls in the shower room were shocked, thrilled, ashamed, or simply glad that the White bitch had taken it in the mouth again. Some of them might also have claimed surprise, but of course their claim was untrue. Carrie had been going to school with some of them since the first grade, and this had been building since that time, building slowly and immutably, in accordance with all the laws that govern human nature, building with all the steadiness of a chain reaction approaching critical mass.
What none of them knew, of course, was that Carrie White was telekinetic.
And the poll results.
In the Flog a Pro series over several years, the first pages of bestseller novels have been rejected by readers about 70% of the time. Many times it’s not a case of the author being unable to write a compelling opening, it’s a case of the author not applying their storytelling talent in the same rigorous way they did when they got started. Once a star, sheer inertia can move a book onto the bestseller list . . . for a time, anyway.
The rest of us have to create that movement with gripping, compelling openings, which are in short supply on the bestseller list.
Enough said?
Ray
© 2017 Ray Rhamey
My books. You can read sample chapters and learn more about the books here.
Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling
Fantasy (satire) The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles
Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy
Science Fiction Hiding Magic
Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.