Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment.
Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, It seemed to me that it could be educational to take a hard look at their first pages. If you don’t know about BookBub, it’s a pretty nifty way to try to build interest in your work. The website is here.
I’m mostly sampling books that are offered for free—BookBub says that readers are 10x more likely to click on a book that’s offered for free than a discounted book. Following is the first page and a poll. Then my comments follow, along with the book cover, the author’s name, and a link so you can take a look for yourself if you wish. At Amazon you can click on the Read More feature to get more of the chapter if you’re interested. There’s a later poll concerning the need for an editor.
Next are the first 17 manuscript lines of chapter one from Lay Death at Her Door. Should this author have hired an editor?
In 1986, a man was murdered. I was beaten and raped. The ensuing trial dominated local headlines until my eyewitness testimony sent a man named Jules Jefferson to prison for life.
I lied.
Lately, I’m reliving the crime. It wakes me in the small hours of the morning. My arm is yanked, and my head bangs against the car door before I’m thrown halfway across the road. Stones bite my knees and elbows, and before I can cry out, my mouth is smacked shut. Pow! My ears ring. </p >
I sit up in bed so fast I lose my breath. My heart pounds, and my temples throb. Another memory, more recent, reeks of gun powder from a Ruger—and of blood. These crimes, the murders and the perjury, have rotted out the center of my life. They’ve also, in a more practical sense, ruined me. In the course of one summer, the fundamental fraud of my life has been exposed.
It is the end of August, and although the days are still hot, the early mornings have the chill of an advancing season. I’m wrapped in a warm shawl, sitting at my desk in the attic of this lovely old house deep in the country, ten miles outside of Lynchburg, Virginia. The window in front of me looks out to the mountains, but sunrise is another hour away, so all I see is my face reflected in the lamplight. The only sound is the faint ticking of the keys of my laptop.
You can turn the page and read more here. Did this writer need an editor? My notes and a poll follow.
This book received 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon. I love how first-person narrative, done well, can immerse you immediately into a character. And I love it when I find a strong opening on a BoobBub offer--it makes this post all that much easier to do. I think this opening does a good job of that with tight, clean writing and a professional voice. The story questions raised are, for me, compelling. I suspect the ratings could have been higher but this character was found to be unlikable by some, an unreliable narrator. But such a character can tell a heck of a story. It looks like she will at long last suffer consequences for doing a terrible thing long ago. The reviews raved about the surprise but convincing ending. I think I’ll be reading this one.
What do you think about the need for an editor?
My books. You can read sample chapters and learn more about the books here.
Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling
Fantasy</strong >(satire) The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles
Mystery</strong >(coming of age) The Summer Boy
Science Fiction Hiding Magic
Science Fiction GundownFree ebooks.