Apologies for not posting last Friday--my daughter and my two grandchildren came for a visit and I was happily wrapped up in family. I'm not sorry, just apologetic. Now, on to the flog!
Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, It seemed to me that it could be educational to take a hard look at their first pages. If you don’t know about BookBub, it’s a pretty nifty way to try to build interest in your work. The website is here.
I’m mostly sampling books that are offered for free—BookBub says that readers are 10x more likely to click on a book that’s offered for free than a discounted book. Following is the first page and a poll. Then my comments follow, along with the book cover, the author’s name, and a link so you can take a look for yourself if you wish. At Amazon you can click on the Read More feature to get more of the chapter if you’re interested. There’s a second poll concerning the need for an editor.
Should this author have hired an editor? Here’s the prologue for a novel by Tod Borg.
The big rotary snowblower was parked in the dark at the side of the road where the shoulder had been cleared of snow. The unusual snow removal machine was one of the huge ones, built on a double-engine chassis, designed for clearing highways.
The drive engine was idling quietly despite its size. The much larger blower engine was off. Because that engine made so much noise, the operator would fire it up at the last moment.
Three kills. Maybe four or five.
That’s all it would take to get rich.
Three people who were in the way. People who deserved to die.
The money involved was the kind no one could ignore.
Not even a priest.
Not even a saint.
There was some footwork involved, some financial maneuvering, a disguise, a little bit of persuasion. If the killings weren’t all done in the same way, there would be no consistent M.O. to track. If a victim or two couldn’t even be found, better still.
The rotary driver knew from research that most murderers aren’t that careful, yet many are never caught. Which made a careful killer almost impossible to find.
It had taken a week to prepare for the first kill.
Did this writer need an editor? My notes and a poll follow.
I’m delighted to see a prologue that works. It works because it immerses me into the midst of something happening, a real scene, and it also takes me into the mind of a character. And this character plans to do murder. Coupled with clean, strong writing and voice, how can you resist wanting to know what happens next? I’m downloading this for my Kindle—and it’s free. One little thing—unless using the character’s name would spoil the mystery ahead, I would go ahead and name him. Even killers need to have some aspect of humanity, and names help give that. You can turn the page for more here.
Your thoughts?
Ray
© 2016 Ray Rhamey