I thought if might be interesting to you to see—and maybe do—one of the writing exercises from one of my workshops this last weekend. If you decide to try it, it might be helpful to first read through a post from my book on the topic of experiential description, which you will find here.
Setting snapshot: A small sandwich shop in the first floor of an older building in a small town. There is a lunch counter with stools, worn red vinyl seats on chrome pillars. Behind the counter are the beverage machines, etc., and a griddle where the cook works. There are five tables with red-checkered tablecloths. Most of the chairs are matching chrome with red vinyl upholstery, but two have black seat covers. A big whiteboard behind the counter gives the two specials of the day. It’s noon, and the lunch crowd has the place packed.
The characters:
Ginny, a high-school junior who works Saturdays and Sundays as a waitress to help support her family. She is shy, and waiting on customers isn’t easy for her, but she puts on a smile and does the job. She loves to cook, though, and looks for chances to give the cook a break and take over the griddle for a while. She wonders why Marge doesn’t like her.
Marge is sixty-two, the shop’s other waitress. She likes people, and genuinely enjoys serving the customers. But her feet hurt despite her orthopedic shoes. She doesn’t like having to work, either, but has to in order to pay the mortgage after her husband lost his job at the car dealership. She also resents Ginny’s youthful energy and good looks.
Set the scene by describing this setting first from one character’s point of view and then the other’s. How would each of these women experience this setting? Can you describe the place in an experiential way that also characterizes the women?
If you want to post one of both of your criticisms in comments, I’ll be glad to critique them.
I’m still on the road, returning home today, so flogging should resume as regularly scheduled on Wednesday.
Ray