Yippee! I have to scrap half of my novel!

As some of you know, I have a novel titled We the Enemy that I've been giving away as an e-book because I think it has something to contribute to what we think about the right to bear arms and other concerns in today's society.

But that's not enough -- I want to get it published, even if I have to do it myself, so that perhaps it can reach more people. But I know that I have limitations as a reader of my own writing, so I've invested in an editor, a pro who is a former editor and publisher for a couple of major publishing imprints.

Some history

It's not that this novel hasn't been reviewed and worked on. It has

• gone through two critique groups
• been rewritten with direction from a literary agent
• scored a newbie literary agent who couldn't sell it
• been read by a number of people, garnering mostly very positive reviews and sometimes the word "inspiring"
• called a page-turner with interesting characters (though not for all)
• been tweaked, revised, polished, rewritten for years. Tens of thousands of words have been tossed, more tens of thousands added, characters have been cut, story elements trimmed…and on.

For most readers, this novel can be safely rated as "good," at the least. But, still, I'd never had truly professional eyes critique it.

There was good news and bad news

I thought I'd share portions of his editorial letter evaluating the manuscript as, perhaps, a way of helping you understand the real value of the fresh, professional eyes of an editor. First of all, I felt validated. Secondly, the value of a pro's insights became immediately clear.

Here's what my new editor says:

"I think you have a very strong premise here, that you write scenes crisply, and that you do a very good job of presenting the ambiguities of your scenario. You've offered a great deal to think about in this novel, and I think you will start quite a few conversations with it.

"Before you can get there, though, I think you need to take some steps to bolster the novel editorially.

"You had me fired up for most of the first third of the novel. You introduced me to interesting characters, you presented a compelling situation, you gave me a cause to care about, and you made me worry that this cause was at risk. I think you laid the groundwork for a high-concept speculative thriller. From there, though, I think you slipped off course.

"The deal you made with the reader in the early segments of this novel was that you were going to show us the story of a political revolution, the ramifications of that revolution, and what happens when the old guard attempts to squash the revolution. In some ways, you do deliver that story. The revolution suffers a great loss, and the old guard gets its comeuppance. However, I think the approach you took to get there makes the book feel smaller than it could be."

After specific notes on logic issues, character concerns, and plot issues, he concluded this way:

"I believe you have some work to do to take this to the next level, but I think it is worth doing. I like the concept for this novel very much and I think you can generate some passionate word-of-mouth with it. But you can only do this if you make the scenario intensely believable and you populate the novel with interesting and complex characters."

It's that last part that I think can be most instructional for all my fellow writers, especially of speculative fiction.

And here's the thing I think you can learn about having an editor critique your manuscript: I had this story pretty much the way I wanted it. And it seemed to be working with readers. I had good reason to be content. To be honest, I hoped for confirmation when I sent the manuscript to the editor.

Sound familiar? Now, because I know that any critique is subjective, it would be valid for me to ignore the input. I'm not going to because these particular "fresh eyes" are highly professional, and the mind behind them has vetted scores of published novels, and rejected scores more.

Even though I had things the way I wanted them, it turns out that my way may not be the most effective way of telling the story and engaging the reader. The editor found the opening third very involving, and wants the novel to end the way it does now, but the story road in between needs to be upgraded from two lanes to a freeway.

I guess the point is that when you feel satisfied with your novel, there's still plenty of room for doubt, and a need for a professional critique. I'm a member of a writers group that includes published authors whose agents provide that kind of input, and it often causes extensive revisions.

I have lots of work to do (like ripping out characters, re-imagining most of the middle of the novel, and making the older pieces still add up).

But I'm looking forward to it, and my mind is already bubbling with ways to do it. After my rewrite, the deal includes another read and review. Wish me luck.

For what it's worth,

Ray

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Public floggings available. If I can post it here,

1. send 1st chapter or prologue as an attachment (cutting and pasting and reformatting from an email is a time-consuming pain) and I'll critique the first couple of pages.
2. Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
3. And, optionally, permission to use it as an example in a book if that's okay.
4. If you're in a hurry, I've done "private floggings," $50 for a first chapter.
5. If you rewrite while you wait you turn, it's okay with me to update the submission.

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© 2008 Ray Rhamey