I want to share an editing experience with a novice novelist
who has the determination, talent and work ethic to succeed.
Pat Fenn, a lovely British woman who lives in Crete, sent
her prologue and the first chapter of her romantic suspense novel for a sample
edit, adding that she was dyslexic by way of apology for what she expected me
to find. She needn’t have--there were grammatical and craft shortcomings, but
her writing had promise, her story and character--a charming Irish
barmaid-turned-model named Bridget--were interesting, and her humorous touches
delightful. I sent a sample edit and critique, and she contracted for an edit.
Ah, the things a sample edit can’t reveal. Such as a massive
structural problem. About 120 pages into the story, just when things were
really getting going, she diverted to a 70-page, 16,000-word flashback from a
secondary character that left out Bridget, the primary protagonist. It sucked
the tension from the narrative, and you lost all sense of where you were in the
main protagonist’s story. Yet it covered key elements of the story, events that
had to be there.
I broke the flashback into chapters and distributed them
throughout the narrative, creating “for-instance” transitional narrative to
weave the new chapters into the story’s timeline. She still had to do the
rewriting to make it her own, but I could give her a jumping-off point. And all
editorial changes are optional.
And then there was the ending. The climactic chapter didn’t
involve the heroine, subbing in a secondary female character along with the
novel’s male protagonist. The heroine faced no jeopardy in the climax, and had
nothing to do with the resolution of the story. Oops. I pointed this out and
gave specific structural and plot suggestions on how she could inject her
heroine into the scene and eject the usurper.
Pat had serious rewriting to do, not only due to the
restructuring and ending, but to almost 500 notes throughout the mss dealing
with point of view (“head hopping”), better scene setting, description, and
characterization (there were times her heroine needed to show a little more
backbone in order to increase the conflict).
Pat did the work and brought her rewrite back for a second
edit. She’d done a marvelous job. Showing that she was a quick and insightful
learner, her revised narrative was far, far cleaner. She applied the lessons in
my notes to the entire book, tightening her writing and keeping the pace
strong.
There was trimming and other spiffing up to do in the second
edit, of course, but no structural or story problems—far from it. Pat’s second
rewrite rose to achieve the promise she had shown. I liked the finished product
enough to suggest it to an editor-friend associated with a small press, and Pat
has been offered a contract for her novel, Greeks Bearing Gifts, a fun
story set in Dublin and Crete.
Pat went on to write two more novels to make her story a
trilogy. I haven’t seen the other two because the world conspired to eliminate
the extra cash it takes to pay for an edit, and I wish I could be her “other
eyes” for those as well. Maybe that’ll happen. No matter. I am now a fan of
Pat’s and look forward to seeing her work grow and achieve publication.
If I were an agent, I’d be looking to sign a writer with
Pat’s determination and ability.
Let me hear from you. If I can help you with a question
about your writing, email me and I’ll apply a beady eye to it. Tell me if I can
share it in a post or if you want a “private consultation.”
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