I want to give a shout-out for a client’s new book, Allah’s Revenge. Pete Barber originally came to me for an edit of his manuscript, and stayed on through book design.
I’m particularly pleased with the cover design because, IMO, it creates story questions with just the graphics. Here’s the blurb from the back cover:
Dawud, an Arab genius, creates a nanotechnology weapon capable of destroying the human race, yet small enough to conceal in a hint of perfume.
Recruited by Allah’s Revenge, a Palestinian terrorist organization, he triggers worldwide panic when his weapon suffocates the passengers on a crowded London train in ninety seconds, filling their lungs with hard, black charcoal.
Quinn, an English detective, is first on the scene. A British journalist has a link to the terrorists, and Quinn uses him as bait to flush them out.
When their demands are not met, Allah’s Revenge wipes out the world leaders attending the G20 summit in South Korea, including the US Vice President.
Quinn tracks the terrorists to their lair in Jerusalem and seems to have the weapon under control, but then it is unleashed in Phoenix, Arizona, and Quinn needs all his wits and courage to prevent a horde of nanobots from decimating America.
A challenge was to depict a horde of ravenous nanobots. An image of the full cover, including the back, is here. You’ll see them starting to devour the book spine.
Let me add that I thought this was a terrific read, exciting and interesting all the way through, with action that takes place in London, America, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and more. There are insights into Islam that I found fascinating in addition to the thriller story. The paperback is here, the Kindle version here, and the Nook edition here. And Pete’s website here.
It was a pleasure to work with such a talented (and-able-to-take-editorial-input-to-craft-an-even-stronger-story) author, and I’m now absorbed in editing his second thriller.
Bharti Kirchner, a very talented storyteller, is out with a new mystery, Tulip Season, that I had the fun of working on in a critique group several years ago. Amazing how long it takes a book to get out there in traditional publishing. See more about Bharti and her 9 books on her Amazon author page.
It’s a fun read, and the story and characters are still with me. Here’s the text from the book's Amazon page; I hope you’ll check it out.
A missing domestic-violence counselor. A wealthy and callous husband. A dangerous romance.
Kareena Sinha, an Indian-American domestic-violence counselor, disappears from her Seattle home. When the police dismiss suspicions that she herself was a victim of spousal abuse, her best friend, Mitra Basu, a young landscape designer, resolves to find her. Mitra’s search reveals glimpses of a secret life involving her friend and a Bollywood actor of ill repute.
Following the trail, Mitra is lured back to India where she uncovers the actor’s ties to the Mumbai underworld and his financial difficulties–leading her into a web of life-threatening intrigue where Mitra can’t be sure of Kareena’s safety or her own.
“Mitra is gunpowder chutney to the mystery genre, her adventures a hot refreshing blast of sumptuous storytelling. Bharti Kirchner has once again conquered another literary field. Highly Addictive.” -- Skye Moody, Author of the mystery novel Three Bags Full
"Tulip Season is an evocative taste of Seattle's darker side." -- Cara Black, Author of the mystery novel Murder at the Lanterne Rouge
Which reminds me that no one has taken advantage of my free bookshelf/review posting offer in a while.
I want to tell you a little about--and encourage you to read--a fascinating memoir titled Entering the Blue Stone, written by a client and friend, Molly Best Tinsley.
Full disclosure: I designed the book cover and interior, and I have designed several other books for Molly’s company, Fuze Publishing. But that’s not why I’m advocating her book.
It’s because it’s a wonderful read, and a window into life that is worth the trip. Here’s the summary from the back of the book:
The General battles Parkinson's; his wife manifests a bizarre dementia. Their grown children embrace what seems a solution—an upscale retirement community. Between laughter and dismay, discover what shines beneath catastrophe: family bonds, the dignity of even an unsound mind, and the endurance of the heart.
And here are a couple of the blurbs:
“Dignity and unexpected comedy at the dark end of a family romance.” Merrill Leffler, editor, Dryad Press; poet, Mark the Music
“A story both familiar and rare, beautiful and harrowing. Mary Edwards Wertsch, Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress
You can buy it at their website or the usual online resources. I highly recommend it. The writing is delightful and absorbing.
If you’re interested in the design story, there’s a brief show-and-tell here and here and here--it’s my current featured cover design.
There was just one submission left, so I’ve added my writing book so it wouldn’t be alone. And, after all, ‘tis the season to give writers books, right?
To Promote the General Welfare Edward Wallace Richbourg Dean Granville has one thing on his mind ... convincing his girlfriend to marry him ... until he's arrested for murder. Dean covers college sports for the Washington Post, aiming to become a White House correspondent.
Virginia Governor Eugene Simpson has designs on the presidency. But he makes the mistake of vacationing in The Bahamas with his mistress. Several people have reasons to want Simpson out of the way. The timing is perfect.
As Dean begins to investigate, the trail leads him back to Virginia and Washington, DC for the showdown with the murderer of the governor and his mistress.
Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells Ray Rhamey Laura Abbott, Amber Quill Press: “As an owner and managing editor of a publishing company, I’ve read many submissions that were near-misses. If the writers had had the benefit of this book, they’d be published now. Witty, funny, and engaging, this is a must-read for the burgeoning storyteller and serious novelist.”
Dan Conaway, literary agent, Writers House: “Ray’s book provides the sort of practical, sensible advice that really can help you become a better writer.”
Tess Gerritsen, bestselling author: “A must-have for any novelist--published or aspiring. It’s one of the most readable, entertaining books on writing out there.”
Reality check
With writers putting their books “out there” on the Holiday Bookshelf, it got me to thinking about the “reality check” of reader reviews that these writers are exposing themselves too. Most of the ones I get appear on Amazon, so I looked mine up.
You never know
The Vamipire Kitty-cat Chronicles is, to my way of thinking, just a humorous romp, a spoof of vampires and a social satire. Harmless, I thought. But it received one 1-star and two 2-star reviews from people who disliked it a lot. However, enough other readers agree with my take on it to keep the average rating at 4 stars.
Considering the goodly number of writers who have bought Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells and given reviews, I’m really honored by the average of 4+ stars. I like to teach and mentor, and to have feedback that I’m helping other writers makes my day.
Do you have any review stories about your books?
More bookshelves?
Let me ask you this: I think I should do more “bookshelves” for writers to showcase their books. I could do it one week a month. What do you think? Tell me on the poll. Multiple choices can be made.
The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles Ray Rhamey Vampire mythology is upended when Patch, a calico tomcat, is turned into breakfast--and a vampire kitty-cat--by a starving vampire. Narrated by Patch in a deliciously snarky cat take on the world, he struggles to find a new life, as it were, in which he's tried for murder, almost shotgunned into undead pieces, kidnapped twice, and turned into a (shudder) politician. As it turns out, life doesn’t get any easier after you’re dead. 5-star Midwest Book Review: “Superbly crafted by an inventive and skilled storyteller. Enthusiastically recommended for anyone who would enjoy a terrifically original and thoroughly entertaining yarn!”
Lyon’s Legacy Sandra Ulbrich Almazan Lyon’s Legacy--Scientist Joanna Lyon despises her great-grandfather, legendary TwenCen musician Sean Lyon. Her uncle wants to clone him, even if he has to send Jo through a wormhole to an alternate universe where Sean still lives. Fearing the clone will be mistreated, Jo agrees to go so she can secretly sabotage the project. Then she learns she won’t be allowed to return home without Sean’s DNA, and other time travelers want to make sure she doesn’t tell her ancestor how he dies. Can she still thwart her uncle's plan, and what will she have to sacrifice to do so?
White Russian Edward Wallace Richbourg Alexei Kikalishvili demands justice for the brutal murder of the parents of eight-year-old Maria Tarpischeva. Ten years later, with Maria, the reigning Wimbledon champion, financially secure and able to live on her own, he aims for revenge. He doesn't realize how much trouble that's about to cause him. CIA agent Yuri Skurikov offers Alexei a Hobson's choice: assist Yuri in foiling the sale of a Russian submarine by the Merchant of Death to a Colombian drug cartel or face prosecution for murder. The flippant, even irreverent, Alexei often entertains during his tragic global quest for revenge against the Russian Mafiya.
Blood Scourge G. Dedrick Robinson U.S. Destroyer attacks the submarine carrying its new superbug. Years later, it kills people on a remote Philippine island. The CDC's Dr. Kristin St John thinks the outbreak is contained but Russian educated virologist turned terrorist Rishad Zharmakhan obtains a sample to unleash in American cities. Kristin tries to stop a missile strike on Zharmakhan's lab, fearing it might disperse the virus rather than destroying it, but it's too late. Now mutated into an unimaginably virulent strain, hundreds, then thousands are dying.
Send your published book for a place on the bookshelf. I've just one more book to put on the shelf next Monday, so if you'd like some exposure to holiday book buyers, submit your book according to the directions here.
Flogometer for Kendra: would you turn the page?
Kendra sends the opening to A Girl Called Graye.
City of Destiny, Oregon Territories, 1880
Ms. Ophelia Mudd knew precisely how to deal with wayward girls in her care. A firm hand, hard work, and no coddling. Oh yes, Ms. Ophelia had more than one theory about how to care for degenerate children. Her girls weren't destined for extraordinary things, Prince Charmings, or any other flights of fancy. Or so she thought.
It would be nice to think that Ms. Ophelia merely had the girls' best interests at heart, but alas, that was not the case. Ms. Ophelia was a true wart of a woman in both personality and appearance. She looked as if she’d been squashed by some giant compressor, causing her chin to sit squarely on her chest. Her breathing, perhaps affected by her diminutive neck, made little whistling noises with each breath she took as she shuffled from place to place with arms too long for her podgy body. A mobile lung followed along where ever she went, puffing and hissing as it squeaked along the floor on large iron wheels.
On this bright Sunday morning Ms. Ophelia lined up her girls from eldest to youngest in the long drawing room for inspection and lecture, as she did every Sunday. She walked along the line in near silence, saving for hisses from the mobile lung. Steel tubing coiled from the puffing machine and around Ms. Ophelia's head like a thin metallic serpent, resting on her hairy upper lip with its two blunt fangs inserted into her flaring nostrils.
Yes for me
This made me think of the first Harry Potter novel, which opens with colorful, detestable antagonists. There's no protagonist here yet, but there it tension in the air--what will this creature do to the girls? The voice and the writing were strong for me, and this is one of those cases where voice adds enough impetus to get the page turned. Oh, there are little edits I would suggest, but they are minor.
That said, I would look, if I were Kendra, for a way to get the nature of her caretaker onto the first page, perhaps trimming some of the description. The reason is that this seems to be a steam punk paranormal story, and the more clues up front the merrier. Here’s the relevant narrative from later in the story:
Betel Daggett was a scruffy old man with blackened teeth and lips as red as fresh blood. The deep wrinkles in his face could have hidden coins within them. Most of all, and possibly the real reason Ms. Ophelia hired him, was the white-faced terror he inspired in the girls. Their fear was justified, but not for reasons any of them dared imagine. Betel Daggett was what Daytimers would call a vampire (albeit a very old, very kind, and very wise vampire).
Annie is a gifted healer with mental abilities that enable her to slow aging, cure disease, heal a heart from the inside . . . or crush an enemy’s as it beats. She hides to escape persecution that has haunted her people through the ages, but a Homeland Security agent penetrates Annie’s disguise. On the run as a suspected terrorist, an even greater threat arises when a kinsman bent on avenging the murder of his son creates an unstoppable killer plague. Annie is the only hope for billions of people . . . if she can evade capture.
Caz Tallis is living her dream, restoring rocking horses in her London workshop. When she finds shabby but charismatic Joe and his dog asleep on her roof terrace, she is reluctantly drawn into investigating a missing rock star and an unsolved murder. Then she discovers Joe is not the ordinary guy he says he is. Should she continue to trust him, or go straight to the police as James, her best friend, wants her to?
She has to discover who is lying to her, and who is telling the truth, before she too becomes a target for the killer...
Sue wants just two things from life, lots of dough and her very own Prince Charming. With Walt Stanlee wrapped around her little finger, the son of the richest man in town, she's on her way to getting the dough. In the midst of fending off Walt's pleas to get married until he comes up with more cash, she falls for the suave and debonair Alex as hard as a load of bricks dropped from an eighty-story building. Running off with him to be married, this small-town mistress of the scam, soon lands herself in a situation involving blackmail and murder.
It’s on the edge of her memory like a word on the tip of her tongue, but Kandi can’t remember what it is to save her life. Despite being a cop, Jimmy can’t protect Kandi from the one thing that haunts her. She’s in danger and doesn’t even know it. After it happened, her brain repressed her memories of the accident, and now, she’s taking a Biology class under a man who wants to see her dead. The memories have started coming back, and it feels like she’s miles away from him.
The Hazards of Hunting While Heartbroken tells the story of Zoë Clark, a young woman who sets out to find a man to solve her problems. Instead she finds herself facing her own shortcomings, testing her oldest friendships and realizing that she has the power to make herself happy.
Packed with snappy dialogue and playful wit, The Hazards of Hunting While Heartbroken will strike a chord with any woman who’s ever allowed herself to think, My life would be perfect, if I could just meet the right guy.
If you would like to submit a book for the Holiday Bookshelf, see the directions on this FtQ post.
In this action-packed political thriller, reforms in Oregon compel criminals to tell the truth in court and guns are limited to nonlethal weapons. Opposition is fierce, and the president aims to restore the status quo by stopping the man behind reform, Noah Stone. He sends Jake Black, former Secret Service agent. But Jake is drawn to Stone’s work. When attacks threaten to destroy it, only Jake can save it. He faces the question of his life—who is the enemy, Noah Stone or Jake Black? 5-star Midwest Book Review “A unique thriller with plenty of twists and turns, highly recommended.”
Eiko is martial-arts fantasy about a young girl; raised by the assassins who killed her family. When she comes of age, she becomes their next target. Eiko follows a dangerous and fascinating journey as she grows from child to young woman, along the way experiencing a world few could understand.
Eiko is the type of story that I have always wanted to see on the screen, written in a way that shows a very tragic character who overcomes harsh adversity, through very violent means, but in the process finds her own humanity.
Dindi dreams of becoming a Tavaedi, one of the powerful warrior-dancers whose secret magics are revealed only to those who pass a mysterious Test during the Initiation ceremony. The problem? No-one in Dindi's clan has ever passed the Test. Her grandmother died trying. But Dindi has a plan...
Kavio is the most powerful warrior-dancer in Faearth, but exiled from his tribehold for a crime he didn't commit, he decides to shed his old life. But when he rescues a young Initiate girl, he finds himself drawn into a war. He must decide whether to walk away or fight for her...
A Washington Post Best Book of 2008 and a New York Times “Editor’s Choice,” now in paperback. This lyrical, intimate memoir of one woman’s mad quest to recapture the lost sound of a grand piano is about finding and pursuing passion at any age. As heart-stopping as a thriller, Grand Obsession takes readers around the globe and immerses them in a subculture of fascinating, real-life piano characters. Knize’s epic journey to understand her piano’s elusive power reminds us that reason can’t always account for what calls to us, but answering that call can lead to life’s most profound experiences.
The confluence of the Yellowstone and Missouri Rivers is a region of the USA steeped in histories of the mountain man, fur traders and the northern upper plains nomadic tribes. I joined a veterinary practice there in 1960. Our clients were determined, independent-minded folks who expected their veterinarian to be physically tough, knowledgeable about all species of animals, and skilled in the practice of the profession. Our animal patients were usually stoic but never embarrassed by anything they did or done to them. The characters in this book are those people, those animals, and that time and place.
The flogging: Sheri has sent the opening to Favors.
Lounging on a bed in her t-shirt, shorts and slippers, Julie Fielding looked across the room through the dingy window at the setting sun. She felt older than her 28 years; tonight’s solitude was a welcome pause in the whirlwind of events that had become her life. Tough, yes; but at least Julie’s experiences were grounded in the tangible, for the time being, that is.
Julie watched as magenta and azure-mixed clouds spread as brushed liquid over the darkening sky. Slowly they turned to red and tangerine, then finally to blue-grey shadows lined with piercing gold and white. An occasional whooshing of cars on the nearby interstate and faint voices were superseded by a door slamming one room over as male occupants argued about whose turn it was to pony-up for gasoline. Julie rose to her feet to turn on the nearby floor lamp and continued to the window, tugging hard to close the thick curtains on a mid-September’s eve. After checking the adjacent door’s lock, Julie turned and all but tossed herself back onto the floral polyester comforter-covered bed. Cigarette-laced air filled her lungs, causing the threat of a cough. She reached for the nearby T.V. remote in the dim-lit room and set to clicking before stopping on the 80’s sit-com “Cheers”.
Her green eyes soon grew heavy, lulled into relaxation by the faint dialogue from the television characters. She pulled a pillow out and began to cuddle up when the familiar cricket (snip)
Nope.
There’s some pretty description and clean writing, but for me this didn’t raise and story questions, and that left me lacking the tension needed to turn the page. This character is on her way to a new town and a new house after a divorce, but this chapter and what I saw of the next don’t go near a story--it’s mostly “throat-clearing,” the author’s idea of information we must have to understand the story. Perhaps--but the time to give that is during the story, not before, when you’re trying to hook a reader’s interest. My advice: find the place where something really happens to this woman to start the story.
This captivating book by a design client is at the printer’s now. I’ve read this one, and highly recommend it. Black Wings by Kathleen Toomey Jabs. From the back cover:
LT Bridget Donovan suspects the worst when her former Naval Academy roommate, Audrey Richards, perishes in a botched take-off from an aircraft carrier. The Navy says it's an accident, but facts don’t add up. Could it be suicide, or murder? Donovan's unofficial investigation into what really happened, both during their past Academy days and in Richards’ final hours, forces her to examine the concepts of honor, justice and the role of loyalty in pursuit of those ideals.
I’m pleased to announce the publication of my novel, The Summer Boy
It’s 1958, a time of innocence. In this “novel of Texas,” a ranch hand is murdered and bad things start happening to Jesse, an average kid working a summer job on a ranch. And then there‘s Lola . . . the boss’s daughter is a firecracker of a girl, and her bold ways send death their way. It will take all of their heart and courage to survive. What readers say: “The Summer Boy brought back memories of first kisses and fogged car windows.” “The story is alive. I kept reading even when my eyes were closing at night.”
Crime reporter Syeeda McKay is in the pursuit of Los Angeles’s most active serial killer. Over the last twenty years, the Phantom Slayer has hunted African-American prostitutes working in one of the worst parts of South Los Angeles, killing eight victims in the alleys off Western Avenue, and then disappearing into the shadows. But Syeeda doesn’t know that the killer has turned his sights on her.
Detective Adam Sherwood has been handed the Phantom Slayer cases. Together, he and Syeeda must figure out who is doing the killing . . . before Syeeda becomes his next victim.
Dr. Sara Miles’ patient has an overwhelming infection with Staphylococcus luciferus, universally fatal and resistant to all conventional medications. Only an experimental antibiotic, developed and administered by Sara’s ex-husband, Dr. Jack Ingersoll, can save the girl’s life. But potentially lethal late effects from the drug turn up, sending Sara and her colleague, Dr. Rip Pearson, on a hunt for hidden critical data that will let them reverse the changes before it’s too late. (This book is Christian fiction in the medical suspense genre.)
A stockbroker’s wife disappears. Blood on his hands and an adulterous affair with the missing woman’s younger sister sees him charged with murder. Ten years later, journalist Jacinta Deller decides to investigate, only to become embroiled in a warped game of delusion and murder.
Noah lives for piloting spaceships through time, dodging killer robots and saving Earth's animals from extinction.
Life couldn't be better.
But the twelve-year-old time traveler learns it could be a whole lot worse. His mom is kidnapped and taken to Mars; his dad is stranded in the Ice Age; and Noah is attacked at every turn by a foe bent on destroying Earth... for the second time.
If you're looking for an out of this world, action-packed adventure, and love such books as Percy Jackson or Artemis Fowl, then Noah Zarc: Mammoth Trouble needs to be your next thrill ride.
The Illusion of Certainty follows two storylines. Marc is a successful businessman who seems to have everything—a great job, a beautiful wife, a house in an upscale neighborhood of Portland, Oregon and two great kids who are preparing for college. But, Marc is unsettled by the sudden change in his wife is distant and unhappy. What’s going on?
Then a successful young attorney, Alexandra Mattson, meets a handsome young cop, Sean. They seem to made for each other and begin to merge their futures in a world of uncertainty.
But, the only certainty in life is uncertainty.
More to come tomorrow, along with a flogging. The above are presented in the order received.
Any other folks interested in the Holiday Bookshelf? Check the previous post for directions.
’Tis the season to be gifting with books. As you know, I occasionally flog my books here, and I will again. But I thought it would be fun to create a “Holiday Bookshelf” where FtQ readers could flog their books here on FtQ. So . . .
You're invited to present your published novel here on the “Holiday Bookshelf.” Just send me a cover image and a 100-word blurb about your novel plus the link to wherever you would like to send folks to either find out more about your book or to buy it.
Requirements for placement on the Holiday Bookshelf:
1. That your novel is currently published and available. It can be an eBook or a hard copy, or both.
2. You send a book-cover graphic. It would be nice if you sized it at 72 ppi and 100 pixels in width, but I can resize it if you don't have the capability.
3. A 100-word description of your book. Anything longer than that will be rejected. This is an exercise in discipline.
4. A link: the web address/URL of the web page to which you would like readers to go.
5. Your name
6. Include in the email your permission for the image and description to be posted on FtQ.
Understand that, unless I'm acquainted with a book, I'll have to make clear that I don't have an opinion or role in any of the books offered by writers.
So, in an email that includes “Holiday Bookshelf” in the SUBJECT, send me attachments that include the above elements and I'll look at it for inclusion. I'm pretty open, but I reserve the right to not post things I find objectionable. I anticipate posting batches as they come in over the next couple of weeks.
Let’s start the Holiday Bookshelf with a shout-out to the excellent books of two of my design clients. As I work on a book, I get to know both the content and the author, and these two are worthy of a look by you. Click on the linked title to go to the website.
Laced with the author’s cartoons, Nobody Knows the Spanish I Speak is a humorous memoir by a very funny man, Mark Saunders. I’ll just let one of his blurbs do the talking.
Mark Saunders arrives in San Miguel de Allende with his wife and finds dust and dogs, twisted ankles, fireworks, cactus and much more. He’s the classic American innocent abroad, part clueless tourist, part critic, and always a lover. It’s a book for every life adventurer, particularly those reinventing their lives or retiring, first for the humor, which crackles on every page, then for the curious, tolerant attitude, and finally for the story, which chronicles the changes in two lives (actually four, counting a dog and a cat) that transpire when they leave the safe and familiar and create a new life. Foster Church, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of Discovering Main Street
In this satire for mothers and daughters, The Mother Daughter Show delivers smiles and a recognition of the angst that accompanies parenting. From the back cover:
At Barton Friends–a D.C. prep school so elite its parent body includes the President and First Lady–three mothers have thrown themselves into organizing the annual musical revue. Will its Machiavellian intrigue somehow enable them to reconnect with their graduating daughters, who are fast spinning out of control? By turns hilarious and poignant, The Mother Daughter Show will appeal to anyone who’s ever had a daughter–and anyone who’s ever been one.
So send that email with your book cover and blurb for the Holiday Bookshelf.
I want to give you the info on my latest book, but this post is long enough and I want the spotlight for these two deserving books.
Okay, I’m pretty excited by this, so please bear with me. After an investment of 10 years and considerable bucks on professional editorial input, I’ve put it out there. It’s available in paperback and ebooks of all sorts at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
In the tradition of FtQ, I offer below the first manuscript page. IF you want to turn the page, there’s a link that takes you to a 2-chapter sample. But first . . .
Hey, it’s just 99 cents!
All the ebook versions are priced at 99 cents—did you know that there’s a free Kindle reader for your computer? I want to make it as easy as possible to make readers familiar with my work, so this is partly a marketing effort. At very low risk, readers have a chance to discover a writer they like to read.
The paperback is cool
Yeah, I may be biased because it’s my design, but it’s a really nice book to have and to hold. The paperback isn’t 99 cents: it’s priced at $13.95--production and sales costs need to be covered.
Pass the word?
Whether you like this piece of my stuff or not, it’s possible that readers you know will. So please forward, tweet, or whatever this post to other readers. I thank you. My wife thanks you. My cat thanks you (by the way, you’re a lot better off if you stay on her good side).
Okay, flogging time
Even though We the Enemy is published, I can change it if I learn things that I want to incorporate. That’s the cool thing about ebooks and Print On Demand. So please read and comment as you will (and, hey, even if you vote to not turn the page, why not click the link and have a taste of a little more?).
And remember, this is “stuff.” It’s not about me, it’s about the words and how well they do or don’t work with you. Here goes . . .
Ray has sent the opening of We the Enemy, a near-future speculative thriller.
The young woman laughed and swung the child back and forth.
Words came from Jake, but he couldn’t make them out because they were muddied and slow, as if made of molasses.
The woman frowned at him. She pulled the child in and said underwater words that made no sense. The look on her face was angry. Wild.
A nasty mechanical buzz blasted him—his alarm clock yelling at him. Jake groped and turned it off, then realized that he was holding his breath, his jaws clenched.
Why?
As he did every morning, he turned to a snapshot in a plain black frame on his nightstand—Amy in her favorite flowery party dress, forever five years old. He touched the tiny silver crucifix hanging from the frame by its chain. Amy wore it in the picture.
Why could he see her face in the photo but not in his memory? The crucifix glittered, and he couldn’t look at her picture any more.
He swung out of bed and his foot came down on an empty wine bottle. God, his head hurt—the price of self-medication. He scowled at all the damn sunshine coming in the window.
Should he blow off his meeting with the attorney general of the Unites States? After she’d come all the way to Chicago to keep the meeting secret? Should he stiff a woman who has lots of (snip)
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