Introducing NOVEL LIBS

Introducing Novel Libs, a new interactive Flogging the Quill exercise in crafting a compelling opening. You’re invited to flesh out the first 16 lines of the faux novel opening below by adding missing words.

I’ve worked to include the six vital elements of a story on this first page:

• Tension
• Story questions
• Voice
• Clarity
• Scene setting
• Character
  

You can write in one of two veins:

• Just for Fun – make it as hilarious as you can
• For Real – make it as dramatic, imaginative, and compelling as you can
  

Post your version in the comments for this page.

Hey, submit your own Novel Lib!

Join in the writerly fun and email me an attachment with the first 16 lines of a faux novel for the FtQ gang to play with. Here are the requirements:

• Set the formatting when you write your entry to 1-inch margins, single spaced, Times New Roman 12-point type. Double-space between paragraphs, no paragraph indents.
• Include all of the six vital story elements (see above).
• Indicate where writers need to supply words in this way: (verb) (noun) (plural noun) (proper noun) (name) (adjective) (adverb) etc.. I’ll supply the color. No blank lines or spaces.
• Email it to me as an attachment.
• Be sure to include in your email permission to post it on this blog.
• If it’s okay with you, please also include permission to include your submission in a book—this could make a fun compilation. If I want to use it, I will try to contact you first.
  

Here’s the value in creating a Novel Lib for posting here—you are forced to focus on a structure, content and pacing in 16 short lines that will make them compelling enough to get someone to turn the page. The nice part is that you’re not burdened with backstory and all that other knowledge that often bogs down first pages—you’re focused on pure story, plus a little characterization. And what word choice does.

Now see what you can do with Novel Lib No. 1 -- Sasha’s Story

You can use articles as needed—for example, in the first sentence where a verb is called for, I can see that some verbs might need an “at” to make sense with the noun chosen.

Notice how your word choices can make this fantasy, or crime, or whatever.

Note: this story is told in the past tense.

Also note that I just couldn't resist making a past tense verb of the word "verb."

Sasha’s Story

When Sasha verbed her noun, she verbed. She shrank back against a/an noun and hoped that none of the passing plural noun had noticed. She had no doubt—unless she verbed the noun, plural or singular within twenty-four hours, she was verbed to be verbed just like the plural noun on her 1st noun.

She verbed across the dusty noun, ducked into a adjective noun and ordered a noun. Choosing a booth in a dim corner, she 1st verb her 1st noun again and studied the noun there. A tear moistened her eye at the sight of the plural noun on the bodies of plural noun. How could the proper plural noun/name have verbed this to an innocent noun of plural noun?

One thing was clear—she would not let the 1st proper plural noun get away with this. She slipped her hand into her purse and gripped her noun. It was all the weapon she had, but if she didn’t verb the noun, she would be the next one to verbed.

Whispering so none of the other patrons of the noun could hear, she left a voicemail message for her adjective noun. “I may be late tonight—” She paused. She might not live through this. “Well, I just wanted to say I verb you.”

When she slipped out the door, a noun fired across the street and the sign above her head verbed into noun. No time to pull out her noun and verb back -- she raced around the corner, only to find (snip)

How about filling out the poll below?

You can select more than one answer. And comments are welcome.
Comments, please?

For what it’s worth.

Ray

© 2010 Ray Rhamey

Comments

[Jami Gold]

Okay, Ray, I'll be the guinea pig. :)

When Sasha dropped her compact mirror, she stifled a shriek. She shrank back against a building and hoped that none of the passing pedestrians had noticed. She had no doubt—unless she exposed the doctors within twenty-four hours, she was doomed to crack like the remains of her mirror.

She slipped across the dusty alley, ducked into a rundown bar and ordered a martini. Choosing a booth in a dim corner, she dropped her mirror again and studied the jagged lines there. A tear moistened her eye at the sight of the lesions on the bodies of the bar patrons. How could the Department of Health and Human Services have inflicted this on an innocent town of Americans?

One thing was clear—she would not let the DHHS get away with this. She slipped her hand into her purse and gripped her shattered mirror. It was all the weapon she had, but if she didn’t stop the doctors, she would be the next one infected.

Whispering so none of the other patrons of the noun could hear, she left a voicemail message for her bedridden mother. “I may be late tonight—” She paused. She might not live through this. “Well, I just wanted to say I love you.”

When she slipped out the door, a gun fired across the street and the sign above her head burst into pieces. No time to pull out her mirror shards and shrink back -- she raced around the corner, only to find (snip)

As you said, this was mostly word choice and a bit of characterization. But I did have to decide on a bit of backstory, just so I'd know which direction to take the action in. Interesting. Thanks!

[Ray Rhamey]

Very nice, Jami. How could anyone not turn the page?

[Anon]

This was tough, especially with the "the"s before some of the nouns. My genre kept changing:

When Sasha ripped her skirt, she moaned. She shrank back against a tree trunk and hoped that none of the passing teams had noticed. She had no doubt—unless she replaced the getup within twenty-four hours, she was going to be scolded, just like the girls on her block.

She ran across the dusty road, ducked into a nearby ditch and ordered a huddle. Choosing a booth in a dim corner, she prepped her teammates again and studied the battle zone there. A tear moistened her eye at the sight of the spots on the bodies of the fallen. How could the Warriors have compared this to an innocent “game?”

One thing was clear—she would not let the jerks get away with this. She slipped her hand into her purse and gripped her gun. It was all the weapon she had, but if she didn’t avenge the team, she would be the next one to go.

Whispering so none of the other patrons of the field could hear, she left a voicemail message for her fallen team members. “I may be late tonight—” She paused. She might not live through this. “Well, I just wanted to say I respect you.”

When she slipped out the door, a ball fired across the street and the sign above her head dripped into her hair. No time to pull out her paintball gun and fire back -- she raced around the corner, only to find (snip)

[Greg]

I like the idea, it makes you think. But I wasn’t crazy about this example as the storyline seems pretty well set, and the options are limited. I kept reading it over and over and, except for minor variations here and there, kept coming up with essentially the same thing. I’d like to see one with a somewhat more ambiguous storyline that allowed more latitude in story development and a wider choice in wording. I dunno, maybe I’m missing the point. Not sure. Anyway, I’ll send you an example (not necessarily a good one) to show you what I mean.

[Liz P]

Ditto with Greg.

That and, I personally have never liked Mad Libs (or a variation of that)