A fun read for free: e-ARCs of The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles
I’m so excited! Today (Dec. 14) the printed ARCS (advance review copies) of The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles are scheduled to arrive. I’m mailing copies to:
- 8 extremely generous published authors for blurbs
- 5 vampire websites for reviews
- 3 ad agencies with cat food clients to sell ad space
- the makers of Vampire Wine (yes, there really is one)
But that’s just the beginning.
How about you taking part in building a little buzz?
Inspired by author Lynn Vielh’s experiment with offering electronic advance review copies for a novel, I’d like to offer FtQ readers and bloggers an “e-ARC” of Chronicles in return for writing a blog post or review about it in advance of the publication date of February 1, 2010.
While hoped for, favorable opinions are not required or requested, and there are no strings attached other than agreement to these two conditions:
1. Everyone who receives the e-ARC agrees to write about the book
and post it on your blog, website, or an appropriate forum (for those
who don’t have a blog or website
2. Everyone who receives the e-arc agrees not to sell, distribute, redistribute, post on the Internet or otherwise pirate copies of the novel.
Deadline Please email me
with your agreement to the above terms no later than midnight PST on
December 15th and I’ll email to you a PDF of the complete book
To whet your appetite, I offer this:
The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles upends vampire mythology when a starving vampire turns Patch, a calico tomcat, into breakfast—and the world’s first vampire cat.
As Patch struggles to find a new life, as it were, he tells his tale with a deliciously snarky cat take on the world.
He discovers that life isn’t any easier after you’re dead—he's almost skewered with a stake by a mob, tried for murder, just about shotgunned into undead pieces, and comes seconds from being fried by the sun.
Oh, yeah, and turned into a (shudder) politician.
On the other paw, he does hook up with a sweet Siamese, and it looks like he's on the way to winning that election . . .
If you do this, I would greatly appreciate an email from you with a
link to what you post. Thanks. Will all this work? Stay tuned.
And now to our regularly scheduled flogging.
The Flogometer challenge: can you craft a first page that compels me to turn to the next page? Caveat: Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective.
Note: all the Flogometer posts are here.
What's a first page in publishingland? In a properly formatted novel manuscript (double-spaced, 1-inch margins, 12-point type, etc.) there should be about 16 lines on the first page (first pages of chapters/prologues start about 1/3 of the way down the page). Directions for submissions are below.
Some homework. Before sending your novel's opening, you might want to read these two FtQ posts: Story as River and Kitty-cats in Action. That'll tell you where I'm coming from, and might prompt a little rethinking of your narrative.
Luca’s first 16 lines:
Voice and story question sucked me inAn old knight approached the dark city of Kalgir. Blown in from the eastern side, he rode hunched over the reins of what once might have been a mighty charger, but whose coat had now lost a lot of its sheen, and whose step had lost some of its fervour. Rain lashed the pair, thrumming against the knight’s tarnished breastplate and round helm. Thunder crashed overhead. A grubby grey cloak, heavy with water, dragged at the knight’s shoulders and moulded him to the charger’s rump.
All in all, the knight and his mount appeared unspectacular: grey and worn and thoroughly beaten down by the great open world, the weather, and time. So as they approached Kalgir, no one of any import took much note–for there are sleepless, bodiless eyes peering out from Kalgir’s towers and spires on behalf of shadowy masters. He was perhaps a Sir, or perhaps a mercenary, or perhaps a lunatic to be braving such horrendous weather in the middle of the night; but none of these things were likely to much alter the deadly games being played in Kalgir’s streets and palaces at that very moment.
The old knight, who travelled under the name of Unther, approached on the Eastern High Road, the road of wealth and trade that linked Kalgir with much of the more civilized parts of the world, and so approached the city’s major eastern gate. The Silver Gate, (snip)
While not compelling in terms of action or even initial tension, and despite the promise of a leisurely storytelling style that I’m not always in the mood for, the writing and the hints of malevolence waiting in the city moved me forward. Yes, I prefer an immediate scene (this is that) in a close third-person point of view (this is omniscient, though it soon slips into the knight’s pov), but writing like “moulded him to the charger’s rump” also promised a level of reading fun. The down-playing of the character’s abilities also suggests that he’s capable of much more, and so is an interesting character to me (also an, er, mature warrior).
There really aren’t much in the way of nits to pick on with writing as polished as this. I can tell you that the story continues in the same fashion, taking its time with writing that rolls off the tongue. I can also say that I wish the first chapter had hinted more at what jeopardy lay ahead, and had introduced the inciting incident that marks the change in Unther’s life. One more thing, Luca—you have rain thrumming the night, but you also have a guard seeing old blood on his boot. That doesn’t seem credible, seeing as how blood is quite water soluble and a serious rain ought to have washed it away.
Comments, please?
For what it’s worth.
Ray
Your donations help cover the cost of hosting FtQ. Just click the button to chip in.
Public floggings available. If I can post it here,
Submitting to the Flogometer:
- Email your 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter as an attachment (.doc or .rtf preferred, .docx okay) and I'll critique the first page.
- Please format with double spacing, 12-point font Times New Roman font, 1-inch margins.
- Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
- And, optionally, permission to use it as an example in a book if that's okay.
- If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
- If you rewrite while you wait you turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.
© 2009 Ray Rhamey
I really loved the first paragraph aside from the vagueness of "a lot" and "some of". But there is no reason not to give the knight his name upfront. I would take the first sentence of the third paragraph and tack it onto the beginning, then play around with it a bit (for instance take out some of the mentions of “east”). Here’s a suggestion:
The old knight, who travelled under the name of Unther, approached on the Eastern High Road, the road of wealth and trade that linked Kalgir with much of the more civilized parts of the world, and so approached the city’s major gate. He rode hunched over the reins of what once might have been a mighty charger, but whose coat had now lost its sheen, and whose step had lost its fervour…
Getting back to the comments, the repetition of the word grey from first to second paragraph is unnecessary--we already know that he is grey. I’m also not a big fan of the phrase “all in all,” though if the other issues were taken care of, I would let it slide.
There is some excellent imagery. I can sense the rain and hear it "thrumming" on the knight's armor. The character is intriguing. I certainly don't know yet whether I like Unther, but I am interested in finding out.
Posted by: Bree | December 30, 2009 at 06:09 PM