Free book contest: win a copy of FtQ (the book)

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First, a new 5-star review Midwest Book Reviews just gave Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells, this 5-star review:

An invaluable 'workshop in a book' for anyone seeking to hone their storytelling skills

No sector of the publishing industry is as competitive as that of fiction. The competition facing any aspiring novelist is intense and only the best, most imaginative, and technically skilled will succeed. That's why 'how to' books like Ray Rhamey's "Flogging The Quill: Crafting A Novel That Sells" are such important, practical, and recommended reading for anyone who is seeking to establish a profitable career writing fiction, regardless of the genre they choose to specialize in. Drawing upon his years of experience as an author and editor, and as the creator of the 'litblog' 'Flogging the Quill' where writers from around the world can explore the craft of storytelling, Ray Rhamey has organized his instruction manual into seven major sections: Storytelling; Description; Dialogue; Technique; Words; Workouts; and Computer Tips. An invaluable compendium that is as informed and informative as it is thoughtful and thought-provoking, "Flogging The Quill" will prove to be an invaluable 'workshop in a book' for anyone seeking to hone their storytelling skills and produce novels that will be able to successfully compete for publication and sales.

I especially like the notion of a “workshop in a book.”

Will your WIP’s first line win a free, signed copy of Flogging the Quill, Crafting a Novel that Sells?

I will send a signed copy of my book to the person who has, in my estimation, the best first line from their WIP, and FtQ readers will be involved in the selection process. Here are the rules and how-to’s, but first, just to be perfectly clear . . .

This is a promotion. It is designed to interest you in buying the book. So I’ll ask entrants to do something to help that along. It’ll be fun, I think, but I want there to be no question as to purpose here.

The rules/how-to’s: entrants will do the following --

1. Tell me in a comment on the blog which of the six kitty-cat scenarios in the free PDF sample you think is the best hook (not just the first line, but the complete opening). You can just state a number, 1 through 6. The votes will be compiled and the result reported. To read the chapter, you can click on the “Look inside” graphic on this site to open a PDF, or click here.
2. In the same comment, give me the opening line of a work in progress (WIP). Please DO NOT make up a special line just for this competition—it has to be a real line that you think is the best way to open your novel in progress. If you want to hone your line before submitting it, please do.
3. The line can be from a completed manuscript as long as it is unpublished.
4. Make sure the email address you give when making your comment is correct as it’s the only way I can contact the winner.

The process, timing, etc.

• Contest opens today and ends Friday (June 19th) at midnight.
• On the following Monday I will post my top 10 picks in a poll.
• You vote for your favorite.
• Voting will end Tuesday at midnight.
• Wednesday (the 24th), I’ll announce the winner. This may or may not be the one the majority selects. Hey, this is all subjective, right?

In addition, I’ll post the results on the kitty-cat scenario votes sometime that week.

If you’ve followed this blog, you know that I’m looking for a strong hook, a sentence that compels further reading. As for why this first sentence is so important, here’s an excerpt from my book on the subject:

There’s a reason for working to create tension with your very first sentence—it leads to the second sentence, and you draw your reader into your story sentence by sentence by sentence. It’s clear that each sentence on the first page is charged with the responsibility to KEEP READERS MOVING FORWARD.

When you send a sample to an agent, or when an editor turns to your first page, you are on trial. Not just your work, but your ability. The agent/editor wants to know, can this writer engage me? Can this writer use language to make me read his story?

The story is on trial as well. You get a few hundred words to make your initial case that the journey through the next 80,000 words is worth it, and will reward your reader with a helluva reading experience.

And it all starts with that first line.

But there are so many things in your mind when you craft that first sentence—setting the scene, or characterizing, or creating action, or whatever—it’s entirely possible to miss seeing a lack of tension.

So send in the first line from a WIP. Flogging will resume on Wednesday, though I will keep posting the rules and how-to’s for the contest.

Good luck.

Ray

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Your generosity helps defray the cost of hosting FtQ.

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Public floggings available. If I can post it here,

1. send 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter as an attachment (cutting and pasting and reformatting from an email is a time-consuming pain) and I'll critique the first couple of pages.
2. Please format your submission as specified at the front of this post.
3. Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
4. And, optionally, permission to use it as an example in a book if that's okay.
5. If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
6. If you rewrite while you wait you turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.

ARCHIVES

© 2009 Ray Rhamey

Comments

[Christine H]

Aw, Ray, I *just* rewrote my first scene and changed the first line I loved so much. I had to sacrifice it on the altar of "flow."

Dang it. I'll enter the contest anyway, but I know I won't win. I'd love a free copy of the book, so it's worth a try.

[Christine H]

I choose #1. For two reasons: the clear image it paints of urgency on a small scale, and the irresistible poetic appeal of "raced across the clover, leaping honeybees."

My boring first line is:
"A neat stone farmhouse squatted beside the massive barn, its garden tucked under a thick blanket of snow."

The second line is better.

[Liz]

I chose #5. A character in imminent danger that seems more unusual than the typical caught my attention.

My first line is:

Alek knew a dragon’s roar.

[Kim]

I chose #5 because of the imminent danger and tension. It certainly made me want to read more.

My first line is:

He loved to hear them scream before they passed out from the pain.

[Darla]

I hate to jump on the bandwagon, but I liked #5 the best too. The immediate tension and danger made me want to read more.

My first line is:

Hooves pounded the dirt road and shouts filled the air.

[Hayley E. Lavik]

Again I have to ask Ray, is this strictly inside the States? Still trying to get my hands on a copy of the book.

Torn between #5 and #6, but I think I'd say 5, because it's immediate conflict but also an underdog situation right from the get-go. #6 raises questions, but I don't know yet whether to sympathize with the pov character... or maybe he's to blame. So 5, because it gives me someone to root for, and lets me glimpse the character for facing that danger.

My first line is:

Jereman was dead.

[Justina]

Number five. I don't know, it just feels the best, if that makes any sense.

My first line is:

I pushed through the swinging door of the bar and stood in the gloom for a moment, giving my eyes time to adjust.

[Lisa Potts]

#5 is my pick also. The nail biting, or in this case, claw biting tension compels me to read on.

My first line is:

If Queen Bee Abigail Withers called me a wannabe loser one more time I was gonna let her have it, even if it did mean I’d have to kiss a pig.

[RDelaval]

I chose #5 simply because it opens the door for anything cats fear/hate (is it a dog, a new can of cat food, a monster, a cat carrier?).

My first line:

If I had been a good child, none of this would have happened.

[Sheila]

I already have your book (it's awesome), can I still enter? A signed copy would be nice . . .

I like #4. I guess I'm more compelled by peril than by being thrown directly into a confrontation when I don't know who to root for. Maybe Hairball had spent the morning being really annoying to the Beast - sitting on his newspaper as he tried to read, licking his food when he wasn't paying attention, etc. Maybe Hairball deserves a good thumping.

But I always have pity for someone in peril.

Here's my entry:

Nicky's Pa had only ever struck him once, when he'd caught him sneaking a look at the very map Nicky was now unfolding.

[minerva koenig]

KKIA Opening #1 is my pick.

My first line:

'I could smell Texas coming a hundred miles before we crossed the border.'

[MZ]

Number 5 for sure.

Here's my first line.

A brilliant January sun burned high in the cloudless blue, illuminating snow topped headstones arranged in exacted rows, as if death were an orderly business.

[minerva koenig]

Doy, I left off the last half of my opening line. Here's the corrected version:

'I could smell Texas coming a hundred miles before we crossed the border: dry grass, gasoline, and heat.'

[C. King]

#3. I was torn between #3 and #5, but for me the "underdog" element was more pronounced in #3 and made me want to turn the page more to find out what happened.

My first line:

An old man ran across the desert.

[Richard Davies]

I'd have to agree with the majority and say number 5. It provoked a more immediate reaction from me than the others. It's intense and sucked me in from the get go. It also raised some story questions that I have to know the answer to.

My first line:

Sniff, armed only with a bowl of stew and a lantern, stepped into the dungeon and prayed it would be the last time.

[bobbi]

I vote for #4 : Kitty out on a limb.

My first line:

The first time I ever saw him, I was still a child of maybe seven or eight.

(note: "saw" is supposed to be in italics)

[DL Hammons]

I'm slightly partial to number 4.

My first line:

Today was the day, he could just feel it.

[C. L. Frontera]

I'm voting for number five. I like the tension created in the first line, which continues to build in the next sentences.

My first line:

All she could see was red, it ran between her fingers and soaked the ground as she tried to cover the hole.

[bb]

Can we enter (not vote) more than once?

[Joseph Miller]

Tough to choose, but in the end #6 was my winner. #5 tempted me though ;)

Here's my opening line:

When I turned seven, I made only one wish—to find a way into the basement my grandparents always kept locked.

[hope101]

Number 4. I liked the element of humor on top of immediate stakes.

Opening line:

When she looked through her apartment door peephole and saw the manicured finger tapping on the digital watch, Janey blinked, swivelled her head to look at her wall calendar--where today's date was encircled in optimistic pink--and knew that she was in deep trouble.

[hope101]

Ack! Change "encircled in" to "encircled with", please.

[Gargi]

I quite liked #1, actually.

My first line:
The day I met the genie, the boss emailed me demanding a meeting at eleven to discuss a matter of ‘great importance’.

[Emily Hendrickson]

Sorry, I think I posted my original comment in the wrong section...... so here goes:
I liked Kitty Cat #3

The first line of my novel:
Introducing her date by the wrong name all evening didn’t win her anything but a ticket straight back to single town. And here she was, three months later, punching a good-looking guy in the face – in the front foyer of her church.

[mai]

I chose # 1 because of the tight scene-setting, action, suspense, and characterization.

My first line:

With the kris's blade inches from Neela's breasts, Shikari willed a small opening in his vastu-shield, and watched, smiling, as Neela's eyes widened at the sight of its edge shimmering in mid-air.