And the winnah is. . .

The writer of Flogometer entry #9 will receive a free edit of the first 3 chapters or so of her novel. Good writing, interesting and unique characters, and intriguing story questions. Good work.

Thanks again to the 23 writers who were willing to be "flogged." A number of them have said that it was a worthwhile experience, and I'm glad to hear that.

More flogging will be coming -- several folks have already sent samples, and the door is open. There's a difference, though; I'm not going to crank out two a day. Nope, a more leisurely pace is in order. Don't know what, exactly, but it'll happen.

Next week, perhaps by Monday, there may be a guest blogger. I haven't seen the post yet, so no guarantees -- I've asked for his take on how to achieve one or more of the six things I've listed as key ingredients for the opening of your novel:

• Tension.
• Story Questions.
• Voice.
• Clarity.
• Scene setting.
• Characterization.

If not, there will be a regular post from me. My usual target is Wednesdays.

Let me add that I'm very pleased to have "met" a lot of new writers over the last couple of weeks, and I hope you'll continue to drop by FtQ.

This has been fun, and I'll do it again. But, for now, my editing brain cells are tired. Have a great weekend.

For what it's worth,

Ray

Public floggings available. If I can post it here, send 1st chapter as an attachment and I'll critique the first couple of pages as I've been doing in the Flogometer.

ARCHIVES .

© 2007 Ray Rhamey

Comments

[Wendy]

Congratulations, #9!

[heidimo]

congrats, #9! well done!

[Dorothy]

Congratulations, #9. Good work that I look forward to seeing more of.

I already sent Ray an email, but I'd also like to take the chance to thank everyone who participated, both as writers and as critters, whether for my own entry (#4) or the other entries. I learned a lot from all of you.

[john palmer]

Just after dark, death grabbed me by the ass. Literally. [Setting "literally" off as a sentence fragment feels like overkill. How about a dash? Then make the resulting sentence a paragraph, which emphasizes the whole thought?] The moon was out, cool September breezes were scented with hints that fall was coming, and I was trotting over a mound of fresh earth, not an uncommon thing in a graveyard, my mind on a svelte little Siamese over on 15th Street who was coming into heat. A hand shot up out of the dirt and grabbed my hind legs.

[A paragraph break here disrupts a very quick and smooth maneouver by the vampire.]

I twisted and went for the hand with my claws, but another hand burst out and caught my neck, and the two snapped my body straight. A woman's face poked out of the ground. She sat up, holding me in front of her. I figured I was about to kiss my furry butt goodbye, and I was right. Sort of. [Same complaint about the frag, only more so here: it's overkill.]

The woman looked to be thirty-something. Dirty blonde hair -- with dirt, that is [Love it!]. Her bulging eyes were scary, but I forgot all about her eyes when she put her mouth on my throat and bit. [Nice undertatement] She got her teeth into ["through"?] my skin and I felt a warm rush of blood. [No pain?] Putting her lips to the wound, she sucked and slurped. Strength and will drained out of me, along with the sweet sauce of life[Nice phrase.].

I didn't even have enough energy to have regrets except, maybe, for peeing on my associate Amy's bed because she switched brands of cat food without asking. A petty thing for me to do, I admit. [This breaks the willing suspension of disbelief for me. Yes, it's comedy, but I can't picture this going through the kitty's brain at a time like this.]

The writing is very clear and readable, and I am intrigued enough by the premise to read on.

[Kammy]

Great work, #9! Congrats!