On manners, and the launch of the Flogometer January 27-28

First, I want to express my gratitude for the many, many, many thoughtful comments and input on things I've posted over the last two years. When I ask for "fresh eyes," many of you respond. I think that we understand that we are writers together, and your spirit of helpfulness is always hugely appreciated.

I especially appreciate the considerate tone of almost all the input. But one recent comment moves me to talk about the etiquette of delivering criticism before I open up the Flogometer.

Don't insult the writer's effort

On my post titled "Snark readers try to help" a commenter let me know that my examination of the critiques I received was a "complete waste of time."

Let me see. . .here I am, sharing an experience with other writers to the best of my ability. I put some thought and time and writing into the post. Yet it turned out to be a complete waste of time? Such a comment is thoughtless and rude, IMO. Not only not helpful, but unnecessary -- unless you're just trying to be insulting.

Don't comment out of your depth

If you're an acquisitions editor, an experienced agent, or another publishing professional, you have the chops to offer definitive criticism. But if you're not, it's more helpful if you avoid telling a writer that his/her work is "wrong" and to keep it in the realm of "this didn't work for me because" realm.

I bring this up because of what I feel was a mistaken view of story technique offered by a recent commenter.

I was told that I was wrong about the "random Homeland Security moment" in my hook. To quote, "Does this plot point come out of left field as quickly in the book as it does here? You're wrong, nothing ever 'just happens' to the main character in a good book."

"Random?" "Come out of left field?" The heroine's encounter with Homeland Security begins with the first sentence in the novel. It doesn't come out of left field, but is thoroughly motivated. It is the intersection of two people doing what they do. It had to happen somehow.

It is, in fact, the inciting incident involving a new development in Homeland Security surveillance that the heroine has no possible way to know about. And no one else outside of HS knows, either. That doesn't make it "random," that makes it unknown.

Consider these film stories: In Independence Day, the earth is invaded by aliens. Come to think of it, many SF stories have this element. From the point of view of the earth people in the story, it is completely unanticipated. Does that make it random or wrong? Not at all. From the aliens' point of view, it was quite purposeful.

In Spider Man the hero is bitten by a mutant spider. Because of something the hero does? No, he's just standing in a room and the spider drops on him. It could have been someone else. What matters is how the hero reacts to the results of this coincidental intersection of the lives of the spider and the hero.

In Shrek, the hero doesn't anticipate the flood of critters when the king decides to clean kingdom. But is it random? Wrong? Nope. It's the inciting incident for Shrek's story.

Constructive criticism is just that -- constructive. That includes avoiding using language that belittles the effort the writer makes. "Waste of time" and "wrong" are examples.

If you have followed the many edits I've posted, you'll note that I never denigrate a writer's work or pronounce something wrong. I'm aware of the subjectivity involved. The intelligent thing to say is something to the effect that "it doesn't work for me." And then you go into the "because."

Miss Snark generously provides feedback

BTW, I heard from Miss Snark on the revised hook I posted on FtQ, and she said, "Your second version is much improved IMO. More focused, the story line is clear."

Thanks, Miss Snark. You are a treasure, and so are most of the writers and readers I meet through Flogging the Quill.

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The Flogometer open for submissions January 27-28.

Yep, I'm going to try this. Gulp. If you want your novel opening flogged, please follow these guidelines explicitly. No exceptions will be made.

Your task: to craft the opening page of your novel in such a way that I'm compelled to turn the page. Warning: I will be cranky and verrrry hard to please.

Compel: to force or cause irresistibly: call upon, require, or command without possibility of denying

What to submit: The first two pages of your novel, whether it's a prologue or chapter 1.

Why 2 pages? I'd written earlier about a word limit, but that's not a fair test if the hurdle is to get me to turn the page. So the second page seems necessary.

How to submit: email an attachment of the first 2 pages to ray@editorrr.com.  I will not review text in the body of an email. It's a pain.

Please include "Flogometer" in your subject line

Your email MUST:

• Include a sentence that tells me that it's okay to use your submission in the Flogging the Quill blog.
• I would appreciate it if you would also say that it's okay to use in a how-to craft book based on the blog.
  

I'll reply with a number (swiping a good idea from Miss Snark), and I'll start critiques with number 1. I'm thinking I may post reviews daily if there are a lot of them, so check in.

Required formatting: traditional formatting for a novel manuscript is that the text starts 1/3 of the way down the page for each chapter or the prologue. That equates to about 3.7 inches from the top -- Word will tell you where that is. With 1-inch margins and double spacing, using Times New Roman font, on my computer that gives me a chapter heading plus 16 lines of narrative on the first page. MAKE SURE there are no more than 16 lines of narrative on your first page.

When to submit: I'll accept submissions that are emailed between 12:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, Saturday, January 27 and 11:59 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Sunday, January 28. If the time stamp on your email is outside of those parameters, I'm afraid I'll just have to delete it.

I'll post submissions with notes, i.e.

• I turned the page, with reasons why, plus edits if I see places for improvement.
• I passed, with reasons why.
  

It took Miss Snark, who apparently has an incredible amount of energy, a long weekend to blitz through just 140 submissions. I don't have that kind of time or juice to devote, so the Flogometer reviews may take longer, but I'll get to them all.

You're invited to comment. Please participate with comments on whether or not a sample COMPELS you to turn the page. DO NOT give the benefit of the doubt. Generosity is not helpful in this case. "Interesting" is not good enough. However, if you do comment on a submission, please be considerate and constructive. At the end of the run I'll ask for votes on a "winner."

The Prize -- a mostly free edit of 3 chapters.

I will give the page-turningest writer an edit of their first three chapters if I have permission to post excerpts from the edits on FtQ.

I'll email the writer with the best opening (IMO, though I'll take into account your votes.) and offer the edit. If the winner doesn't want their work to be posted, I'll move on to the second-ranked opening. There are no free lunches, and the price for this edit is my use of it in the blog.

I look forward to reading your work, I truly do. I will also be as tough as possible on whether or not it compels me to turn the page -- that's real-world, and I'll do you no favors if I'm not. Besides, it's subjective, and you can ignore what I decide anyway.

For what it's worth,

Ray

Free edit. Email a sample for an edit that I can post here.

ARCHIVES .

© 2007 Ray Rhamey

Comments

[Kitty]

Personally, I usually find the "this didn't work for me because" comment helpful, as long as the writer is sincere. But that's just me.

[Patty]

I wanted very much to participate in this, but on looking at my story, I realized it's starting in the wrong place. Which is great in the sense of figuring that out, but I'm not going to be ready to submit something to this today. I'm looking forward to seeing some good openings, they are the hardest part for me.